


what could have been elysium.

by aria_vitali



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Heartbreak, Love, Past Relationship(s), Poetry, or an attempt at it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29031522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aria_vitali/pseuds/aria_vitali
Summary: a collection of poems i've written spontaneously. life's hard.
Kudos: 2





	1. The Reason Why It Hurts

No amount of words can express the feeling of the hurt.

It's in the light that shines brighter after all these years in dimness.  
The way colors appear more vibrant after seeing them dulled for so long.  
The way my laughter has chimed much louder than my previous polite chuckles.

It's in the way my blood sings along with my songs.  
The way I cry at the taste of this newfound loneliness.  
The way I can begin chasing after the distant unknown.

No amount of words can describe the feeling of this hurt.  
All I can utter is the reason why it is so.  
And the reason is because I've finally let you go.


	2. Of the Dark

I've been asking myself lately if I knew the truth of what remains.

The echoes of your voice ringing within my ears.  
The way your touch has painted itself on the canvas on my skin.  
The manner to which your warmth has disappeared from my sheets;  
And the sight of your lips within my dreams.

I've been asking myself lately if I knew the truth of what has remained and I have learned this:

It was never the darkness that I feared.

It was the memories that creep on me when I had left.


	3. The Distance

How far you've traveled, Wanderer;  
But your journey's just begun.  
How far you've walked, dear Wanderer;  
And look what you've become.

Hail and praise, sweet Wanderer;  
For I see the scars you bear.  
Take my hand, poor Wanderer;  
The burden is to be shared.

Be at ease, worn Wanderer;  
No harm will reach you here.  
Please breathe, my weary Wanderer;  
You no longer have to fear.

To my beautiful and lovely Wanderer;  
Let your tears become the sea.  
I am here, precious Wanderer;  
I am here and you are free.


	4. This Knife Cuts Both Ends

We forgot about the pain  
And continued to watch each other bleed  
Not realizing that what we touched  
Was a sharp blade  
We both needed to let go.


	5. One Year

It was spring when we had met  
And everything was the same.  
Yet, you sat there so innocently  
And put a smile on my face.

It was summer when we had learned  
And something began to grow.  
Here, a bond was formed  
And it was no longer just 'me' or just 'you'.

It was autumn when you confessed  
And it was our secret to keep.  
Like the colors that changed on the leaves of the trees  
And it was hidden beneath the breeze.

Now, it's winter and you're standing before me  
And you have teardrops falling from your eyes.  
That's when we knew we couldn't go back  
Because our spring had died.


	6. Golden Chalice

Here lies the remains of what once was;  
A beautifully tragic enigma of affections torn apart.  
Though the glass was created from the most precious of ingredients,  
It hid the bitterness within:

The fog;

The darkness;

_The poison._

And once it had been consumed, it left nothing behind in its wake,  
But a broken shell of what once was.  
How beautifully tragic;  
For they had set the stage on fire with their own hands.


	7. My Demons and Me

I have one beneath my pillow  
It whispers to me in bed.  
Reminds me of all the pain  
From all the things I've said.

There's one perched on my shoulder  
That taps into my mind  
And pours into me fears and worries  
That are dreadfully unkind.

Yet, there's one that's like no other  
Whom constantly shreds me apart  
Why, look, it's none other  
Than the demon within my heart.


	8. How To Mend My Broken Heart

Take my hand and hold it gently;  
There have been many that have been unkind.

Take my body and embrace it lovingly;  
The pieces are threatening to come apart.

Take my heart and mend it slowly;  
For the tourniquet can only do so much.

These are the ways you should love me  
And though I am fragile, bruised, broken and hurt,  
I still yearn to be loved.

I still yearn to be loved.


	9. To Whoever Loves Him Next

When he speaks of the world, listen to him with wonder in your eyes  
For he saw the world at its worst that he's able to see it at its best.

When he speaks of history, listen to him with interest in your mind  
For it is a passion that he leaves unsaid because he can speak of it for hours on end.

When he speaks of his service, listen to him with a compassionate heart  
For he still experiences nightmares in his sleep, ones that he sees whilst still awake.

And finally, when he speaks of me, paint me to be the villain who stole everything from him  
For that is what I did so we may both move on.


	10. I Remember

I remember the snowflakes falling against my window pane  
And commenting how cold it would be that night.  
I remember the soft humming of my computer  
As we sat together in a call.  
I remember the pulsing colours on my walls  
Of candlelight and stars alike.

I remember the silence that preluded the chaos  
Like pressure building within a pot.  
I remember the throbbing within my chest  
The moment you asked me what was wrong.  
I remember the stinging building in my eyes  
When I tried to explain the traffic within my mind.

I remember the venom in your words  
How you spat them trying to push me away  
I remember the crimson in my vision  
And, somewhere, the way the volume of my voice reached its max.  
I remember the sound of shattering  
The shattering of not only my heart, but also yours.

I remember the promises you made.  
But it seems that you didn’t.  
Now, when I try to forget  
I _only_ remember.


	11. Can I Be Your Last?

When you told me you loved me  
I swear I could hear for the first time  
See color for the first time  
Feel pain for the first time  
How could I have gone so long  
Without a heart like yours  
Without you at all?


	12. The Secret of His Wings

I do not pity Icarus for the decision that he made  
When he flew, he knew what would become of him.  
Still, he smiled.

Instead, I scorn merciless Aphrodite  
For that to which she rules leaves no room to breathe,  
No room to negotiate.

Oh, woeful Apollo,  
How must it have hurt to watch your lover fall from the heavens  
Simply because you couldn't help what you were.

Yet, if this is how love is to be, then so be it.  
Allow me to fall just as Daedalus' son did  
If it means I get to hold you just this once.


	13. And So It Goes

He was a god in the heavens that could wage wars to obtain his desires  
I was a mortal below, ignorant to the affairs of the celestial realm above  
We had been warned that our kind do not mix  
But, my dear, how many battles have you fought  
How many souls have you trampled  
How many hearts have you broken  
Just so you could be allowed my body in your arms  
All so you could have my all in the palm of your hands


	14. When Can I Call You Mine?

You taunt me with your words  
Like fire on a snowy night  
You mock me with your smile  
Like the sun that peeks in between on a cloudy day  
You burn me with your eyes  
As you gaze at me with smoldering affection  
I cannot tell you these things right now  
How much it pains me to bite my tongue  
But if you're content with this reality  
Then I'll only speak truth within my dreams


End file.
